This is the transcript of Clare's funeral which took place at Peterborough Crematorium.
By clicking on the song titles you will be able to read the lyrics of that song.
In Celebration of the Life of
Clare Marianne Atkinson
Music — My Immortal, performed by Evanescence Opening Words by Officiant, Louise Wood We have come together today to honour and celebrate the life of Clare Marianne Atkinson. We are here to express our love and admiration for her, to bring some comfort to her family and friends, to remember her and make our farewells.
We are all concerned, directly or indirectly, with the death of any individual for we are all members of one human community. Though some of the links between us are strong and some are tenuous, each of us is joined to all the others by links of kinship, love or friendship; by living in the same neighbourhood, town or country; or simply by our common humanity.
This is not a religious ceremony: that would not have been in accord with Clare’s view of life. I am here to speak for the human community of which she was part. At the end of the tribute there will be time for reflection, for making your personal farewell according to your own beliefs.
A Humanist funeral ceremony is an opportunity to join in taking leave of someone we love, someone for whom we have had the greatest affection. But it is more than that; I don’t think there is anyone here who does not feel enriched for having known Clare. She will be remembered as a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. This funeral is more than a leave-taking; we shall pay tribute and celebrate Clare’s life.
Tribute by Officiant, Louise Wood Sadly I never had the pleasure of knowing Clare but I spent some time with some of her family and friends the other evening. When we had finished speaking I had a very clear impression of the kind of woman she was.
Clare Marianne Chilvers was born on 28 September 1963 at Wisbech Hospital. She was the third child to her parents Ann and Basil and a younger sister to brothers Mark and Richard.
The Chilvers family remained in Cambridgeshire where they lived in a few places but as Clare grew up she attended a Primary School in Mepal.
Clare’s mother Anne, described her as being an angel of a child, she was a good girl and never any trouble. The family did have cause to be concerned when Clare was 5 as she was hit by a car. Luckily there were no lasting injuries but as Clare grew up, she was heard to say that she was sure one of her brothers had a hand in pushing her out into the road
After starting the Cromwell Secondary School it became apparent that Clare was a very intelligent young lady. In the end her academic prowess was recognized and she was sent to the Neale-Wade School in March.
Clare excelled in all of her subjects, she loved mathematics and on leaving school she had an impressive 11 0 Levels with a distinction in typing. Geography was probably the only thing that Clare didn’t like, by her own admission she spent the time she should have been studying for this exam, in the pub with her brother Richard
After leaving school it wasn’t long before Clare married Alan, just before her 18th birthday. As Alan was in the armed forces they moved to Stratford for a few years, when Alan left the army they returned to Cambridgeshire and lived with his mother Barbara until they got a house of their own.
It was this move, some 21 years ago now, that gave Clare the opportunity to meet Carol, one of her best friends and we shall hear from her now.
Tribute by Carol McGrath To my wonderful friend Clare, I wanted you to know that I will cherish your friendship always. I thank you for your support and love, for your help and guidance and for that wonderful listening ear you have, that always had time for me no matter what else was going on. As I look back over that last 21 years I remember the times we had, both good and bad and for every one of those you were there with your loving support and wonderful smile or a shoulder to cry on when I needed it so badly.
Thank you for loving my sons and looking after them both so well for me, loving and guiding them in a way only you could. They will miss you too.
Thank you for letting me share your happiness when Dave came into your life, and for still being a marvellous friend when love moved you far away from here.
Your wedding day was one of the best of my life and I will cherish those memories always. You looked so beautiful that day that you took Dave’s breath away. Thank you for sharing your joy in your love for that man and I hope that he will come to look upon Sean and I as friends and understand that we will be there for him if he needs us. I hope that Gary, Robert and Shaun understand that we are there for them too at anytime.
I still cannot grasp the whole thought of my life without you in it. You know me so well that sometimes talk isn’t necessary and I don’t want to think of not having you around to talk to. I don’t want you to go and not just for me, but for the people whose lives you have touched whether with your love, your smile or with your fabulous cards.
To have had you in my life has been a pleasure, a fabulous journey a wonderful experience and I will make sure that everyone knows what a marvellous friend you have been to me. I will miss our chats and our laughter, your love and support but I will carry you in my heart and mind always.
Tribute by Officiant, Louise Wood (continued) Clare and Alan’s partnership brought them 3 wonderful sons. First born was Gary, followed 2 years later by Robert and then Shaun. Although their marriage ended nearly 4 years ago, the common bond of the children meant that they both remained supportive of all three boys and active parts of their lives.
Both Gary and Robert had fond memories of Clare; they recalled family holidays to Centre Parcs and camping. They described her as being a very cool mum; their friends always thought she was great. They remembered with great hilarity when Clare would attach Shaun to the washing line by his reins when he was little, so that he couldn’t escape.
By their own admission Clare had her hands full with three boys to look after, she soon realized however that if any mischief was afoot Gary had probably loaded the bullets, Robert would have more than likely shot the gun and poor Shaun would always get the blame!
The next chapter in Clare’s life was to bring her to meet David; this part of her life brought her great happiness. David has written something for me to read to read for him.
Tribute by David Atkinson (read by Officiant, Louise Wood) On the morning of 3rd June 2001 I started chatted on ICQ (on the Internet) to someone called ClarePigFan, because I thought it was an interesting identity. On 24th July 2001 we met for the first time and we got on so well that two months later I asked her to move in with me in Carlisle, which she did on 2nd January 2002.
I had always said that I would settle down with the right person, but that I would not just settle for anyone. Although we met unconventionally and it is only 3 years and 4 months since Clare and I met for the first time, I was lucky to find someone as perfect as Clare.
On the third anniversary of our first meeting, I asked Clare to marry me and she made me very happy when she said yes. Our wedding day was a wonderful day to remember, as was my whole time with Clare.
I've found it very hard to put into words how much I loved Clare and how much I miss her now.
Tribute by Officiant, Louise Wood (continued) David sent me his tribute on the email system; at the bottom of the page were the following words:
‘If there is no great plan and all that you do does not matter, then all that matters is what you do’.
These words were so true of Clare and David, they knew how they felt for each other and that it was right for them to go for what they wanted.
David said to me that on their first meeting he stayed in a local hotel, on driving home he deliberated if he should go back and stay for a couple more days. Clare had made a big impact on him, it seems the feeling was mutual as Clare said that he should have come back and stayed for longer, no more did they hold back what they wanted to do.
As we have already heard Clare moved to Carlisle to be with David, and they would often go to the lakes and have picnics. Their time together was spent enjoying simple things such as walks, BBQs and ice cream but this gave them wonderful quality time together which ensured their love and bond grew stronger.
On one of their weekends away in York, it was 3 years to the date they met and David proposed to Clare; she made him the happiest man alive by saying yes.
I am sure that everyone here today has been touched by Clare’s warmth in someway. Clare was a very artistic woman, especially with cross stitching and card making. She could knit anything and draw beautifully, the house is full of her talent and she would even sell her cards at car boot sales where they were very popular.
Clare enjoyed watching television; she liked science fiction, horror and comedy programmes, but loved to watch the shopping and craft channels. On one channel, there are a couple of men called Alan and Barry who present a programme on arts and crafts. Clare would love to watch, buy things, and get ideas, hints and tips. The highlight of some of these shows were the arguments between the presenters. dare took great delight in the day they had a huge row live on air and one of them stormed off, this made her laugh for days!
Clare was great in the garden and even used to grow her own fruit and vegetables. However, her gardening skills were not without problems, one Christmas Day she went into the garden to dig up some leeks for dinner, but the ground was frozen so solid that she couldn’t dig them up!
One of the only things that Clare didn’t like doing was driving. Now I am not saying Clare was a bad driver, but apparently everyone was terrified of getting into the car with her! Clare did have other skills though, matchmaking was certainly one of them, in fact a couple of people here today can vouch how good her skills were, even as recently as her wedding day!
By now, you will be aware of the circumstances of Clare’s death. At the time of her diagnosis, Clare remained determined to continue the plans for the wedding. Even though she was in Peterborough Hospital on the day of her wedding, she made sure that nothing would stand in her way. The staff made her room into a honeymoon suite and made a bouquet. David’s sister Lyn decorated the sick bowls she had with her that day.
Clare got ready in the hospital and was taken to March Registry Office where on that day, the 6 November this year she was married to David. The party after was a great success and Clare loved every moment. Nothing held her back that day and even though she was in her wheelchair, she still danced the Time Warp and joined in with everything.
Clare’s zest for life and the sparkle she put into everything she did will never be forgotten. It is clear that she was a very highly regarded woman and loved by many. There is no doubt that we are all feeling lost without her. In his tribute earlier David said that he didn’t feel able to express how much he loved Clare and how he is going to miss her. He has asked me to read the following poem on his behalf.
WH Auden 1907-1973. from Twelve Songs Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum,
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead,
Scribbling on the sky the message She Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
She was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk my song,
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood,
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Tribute by Officiant, Louise Wood (continued) The music in this ceremony has been chosen by Clare’s family, on our arrival we heard My Immortal, performed by Evanescence.
We shall now remain silent and recall our own memories of Clare as we listen to I’ll Stand By You (performed by The Pretenders) followed by Never Say Goodbye (performed by Hayley Westenra).
Music — I'll Stand By You, performed by The Pretenders. Music — Never Say Goodbye, performed by Hayley Westenra. COMMITTAL by Officiant, Louise Wood With deep sadness we have been remembering the life of Clare Atkinson, a woman with a great capacity for friendship and love. We have reached the part of today’s ceremony when Clare’s body will be taken from our view, would you please stand.
Clare, with love we shall keep your memory, in respect we have recalled your life, we are grateful to have seen your face and happy to have been part of you. Now in the strength of that love for you, in this last ad, in sorrow but without fear, in love and appreciation we say farewell and commit your body to its end.
Would you please be seated.
CLOSING WORDS by Officiant, Louise Wood We would say that when you lose a loved one or friend the pain is hard to bear, but the value and the benefit of that friendship and love will stay with you for the rest of your life. I hope that you have derived some comfort from gathering here today. Hold onto Clare in your thoughts, there is no need to part from her too hastily. Talk about her often and enjoy your memories, lust as we have done today.
On behalf of Clare’s family I would like to thank you for coming, they would like me to invite you all to The Braza which is next to the railway station in March to have some refreshments and share further memories of Clare. As we leave there will also be the opportunity to make a donation to the Macmillan Nurses. To send us on our way, let us sit for a few minutes and listen to some more of the music that Clare loved so much, this time from the other man in her life - Darren Hayes.
Music — I Miss You, performed by Darren Hayes
From collections before and after the cremation, a total of 178.31 was raised for Macmillan Cancer Relief